


Less Than Zero

by romanticalgirl



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Crash Landing, Gen, Snowball Fight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-09-25 20:33:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17128274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/romanticalgirl/pseuds/romanticalgirl
Summary: They have to put the plane down in the ice. Or on it anyway. Steve has a much better time than the last time he was in the arctic.





	Less Than Zero

**Author's Note:**

> For 

“You have got to be kidding.”

Tony glances at Steve and shrugs. “Maybe I thought you’d like to visit your old stomping grounds.”

Steve looks around at the vast stretch of ice and snow and raises an eyebrow. “Or you lost control of the plane.”

“ _My_ plane was hit by a very large missile. But, unlike you, I managed to get my coordinates to someone rather than dive into the arctic ice.”

“The Tesseract sort of screwed up the instruments. Who knew alien technology could do that?” Steve gives Tony a knowing look. “Crazy, right?”

“Let’s not give shit to the guy who saved your ass.”

“Bucky fell into a ravine and survived with a less potent serum than I have. Pretty sure I could have handled the crash landing.”

“Fine. Next time I’ll just hover around in the Iron Man suit while you plummet to Earth. Sounds good to me.”

“You couldn’t hover. You could barely stay in the air.”

“You weigh a ton.”

“You got shot and the left side of the suit went dead.”

“I don’t like you. Did you know that?”

Steve can’t help smiling, giving up on trying to look stern and disapproving. “I had a vague idea, yeah.” He sets his shield painted side down on the ground and settles on it, leaning back against one of the broken off pieces of wing. He tilts his head up, eyes closed, and lets snow gather on his hair and face. “How long until FRIDAY gets a quinjet up and running?”

“Well, given that you and I are on a mission together because no one else was around, might be a while.”

“Happy can’t just get in one and push go? FRIDAY can’t take over once he’s in the air?”

“Happy doesn’t fly things. It never goes well.” Tony looks around then down at Steve. “Move your super-soldier ass and share the shield. My dad made it, you know. He’d totally want me to sit on it.”

“No he wouldn’t.”

“Hey, it’s your BFF’s fault he and I didn’t get a chance to put aside our differences. Well, his and the fact that my dad was stubborn and I was a shithead.”

“ _Was_?”

Tony scoops a small handful of snow and smears it in Steve’s face. Steve grabs his wrist with lightning-fast reflexes, holding it loosely.

“Really?”

One of Tony’s eyebrows goes up. “Oh, yes. Really.”

“You know what this means, right? This means war.”

“Didn’t we already have one of those?” Tony fights a smile as Steve rolls his eyes. “Too soon?”

“Will it ever not be?” Steve gets up, unbalancing the shield, which makes Tony fall over.

“This is why no one likes you,” Tony says as he sits up, butt sliding to the center of the shield.

“Everyone likes me. Loves me.”

“The conservatives don’t. Not since you keep opening your mouth and telling them they’re all idiots.”

“They _are_ all idiots.”

“Well, shockingly, no one likes to be told that. Especially if it’s true.” Tony’s obviously comfortable in the concave part of the shield. “They had free rein when you were playing ice castles. Didn’t have your pesky personality to deal with.”

“Yes. It’s terrible how real people get in the way of propaganda.” Steve shakes his head and walks away, scuffing the snow with his boots. “How far away are we from where they found me?”

“Not sure. A ways, I think. Guess you’re the one good thing global climate change gave us.”

“Aw, Tony. You think I’m a good thing.” Steve turns back to face him, his head tilted and his hands clutched to his chest. “And here I was thinking you didn’t care.”

“I only say that because you’ve helped save the world a time or two. Don’t let it go to your head.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it. Captain America is the most humble man you’ll ever meet. Of course, compared to you everyone’s humble.” Tony rolls his eyes and Steve walks off a little further. Getting off the shield, Tony gathers up what remains of his latest suit and looks it over critically, making mental notes of what he needs to improve.

“Hey, Tony.”

“Wha-“ He’s cut off as a snowball hits him in the face, exploding and then slithering down, dropping onto his shirt and then down to the ground. Steve’s trying to fight his grin, his lips trembling with the effort, but he’s losing the battle. Tony uses his hand to wipe away the water and remaining snow from his face, flinging it to the ground.

Steve shrugs. “You started it. And, to be fair, I warned you.”

“You know, I made the first Iron Man suit in the middle of the desert, I can make a snowball machine in the middle of the arctic wilderness.”

“Yeah?” Steve bends down, scoops another handful of snow and tosses it right at Tony, hitting him on the shoulder. “You don’t have a welder.”

“I’ll make one of those too.”

“Without a welder?”

“The first welder wasn’t made with a welder,” Tony reminds him. “It’s not like the chicken or the egg. Besides, I didn’t say it’d be made out of metal. Though, between the plane and the remains of my suit, I bet I could do it.”

He’s in the middle of designing it in his head when he gets another snowball to the face. Steve’s flat-out grinning now. “Whoops.”

“You’re a dead man, Rogers.”

“Bring it, Stark.” Steve grabs a handful of snow and starts packing it. Tony does the same, firing off a shot before Steve does, though that still leaves him two behind. Steve dodges then throws his, hitting Tony again. “Might want to remember that my area of expertise is projectile weapons.”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever. We’re all scared of the guy throwing things.” Tony fires off two snowballs in quick succession, hitting Steve in the bicep with one of them and the top of his thigh with the other. “You don’t have aerodynamically designed weapons on your side now.”

Tony grabs the shield and props it up in the snow, kneeling down to get behind it and use it as an actual shield, unlike Steve most of the time. Steve laughs and Tony peeks out from over the top of it, getting smacked in the forehead.

“I’m gonna bury you.” Tony laughs, cold and wind and amusement painting his cheeks red.

“Been there, done that.” Steve grins and ducks around the snowball Tony throws while lobbing one of his own. It hits the edge of the shield and splatters, some of it catching in Tony’s hair. “Pretty sure if you did that again, someone would come find me. And who knows what Bucky’d do.”

“Already killed my folks. What’s the worst he could do?”

“Well, given that he just kills the bad guys now, I can’t think of anything, but he’s an inventive sort of guy.”

Tony nods and then starts moving, hefting the shield and keeping it in front of him as he charges after Steve. He’s managed to create a small arsenal that he keeps lodged between his arm and his chest, not aiming so much as just bombarding Steve with them.

Steve dodges, ducking down to scoop up snow that he packs as he runs, pausing just long enough to aim at Tony. He hits him more often than not, and certainly more than Tony hits him, but they’re both laughing too hard to keep score. 

Well, Tony’s keeping score, but just for his own knowledge and edification. And to hold it against Steve in the future.

“I just want you to know that I’m really pissed that the laws of physics don’t seem to apply to you. You literally should be unable to hit me with some of those.”

“The miracle of science.”

“But it’s _not_. I know science, and you are not it.” Tony stops and sets the shield down. “How do you carry this thing? It weighs a ton.”

“It’s not that bad for short periods of time.”

“Like World War Two?”

“I didn’t have it on my arm the entire time. They even let me sit down once or twice.”

“Huh.” Tony picks up the shield and throws it quickly. Steve catches it easily and goes with the spin, turning back to face Tony and stopping just before making the throw. It was a quick move, but enough time for Tony to grab four snowballs from the ground and pelt Steve with them.

Steve huffs a breath, drops the shield, and comes running toward Tony. Tony makes a completely dignified squawking sound as he runs back toward the remains of the plane. He doesn’t get far before Steve grabs him around the waist, swings him up into his arms, carries him over to a snow drift and dumps him into it. Tony lands on his ass , the snow up to his neck, and glares at Steve.

Steve grins down at him. “Buried in the snow and ice. Kinda sucks, doesn’t it?”

“You leavin’ him there for seventy years?”

Both Steve and Tony start at the sound of the voice, Steve turning and Tony peeking out over the sides of the hole he’s in. Steve smiles at the same time Tony rolls his eyes. “Hey, Buck.”

“FRIDAY told me Tweedledee and Tweedledum got themselves lost in the arctic. You’d think you would have learned by now, Stevie. Stick to the tropics.” He nods back toward the Quinjet he came in. “I’ve got a team ready to clean up the mess that survived the crash. Except you two. You’re apparently my mess to clean up.”

“Heat of the Quinjet sounds good to me.” Steve scoops up his shield from where it had been dropped on the ground and fastens it to the brace on his back. He glances to where Tony is still neck-deep in the snow. “You coming?”

He glares and attempts to stand up, but the snow shifts under his feet. Bucky raises his eyebrows and Steve smiles, giving him a little shrug before turning back and offering Tony his hand. He lifts him to his feet, helping him out of the mass of snow. Tony’s just gotten back to solid ground when a huge pile of snow gets dumped on Steve’s head.

He shakes it, snow flying everywhere and glares at Bucky. “Really? You’re on his side?”

Bucky lets the snowball bounce in his hand, the metal keeping it from falling apart. “Who says I’m siding with either of you? Out here in the tundra it’s every man for himself.”

“So why are you here?” Tony asks, eyebrow cocked once again.

“I was in the area, so I did FRIDAY a favor.” He tosses the snowball at Tony, his aim even more precise than Steve’s. “But mostly? Just to mock and laugh.”

“Remind me to tell FRIDAY that you don’t get to rescue us anymore.”

Bucky just grins. “I don’t have to rescue you this time. You’re welcome to walk home.”

“It’s my jet.”

Bucky’s grin gets wider. “Just wait until I tell Natasha, Clint, and Sam.”

Tony huffs, his shoulders slumping. “Fine, Barnes. You win.”

Bucky turns to grin at Steve in his victory and ends up with a faceful of snow, Steve’s large hand grinding it against Bucky’s face. “Nah.” Steve’s all smiles. “Pretty sure I win.”


End file.
